Today I was forced to eat V8 with a spork. I didn’t get around to warming it up until the cafe had closed and locked up the plasticware. You gotta love it. By the way, hot n spicy V8 is very good. So spicy, in fact, that I use half, and then half of the plain stuff. I warm it up and eat it like soup and it is good.
We’ve been making fruit coctail, and it is delish. I found some celestial seasonings decaf mint green tea, that is yummy. I’m a sucker for the aroma: mint, spearmint, mmm.
Although I am surprised at and very thankful for the determination inside me, when 40 days starts to seem overwhelming, I slowly count to 40. I don’t know exactly why, but this really helps. Maybe it reminds me that it won’t last forever. Maybe it reminds me that I will get through it. Maybe it allows me to already feel (humbly) victorious, so that I can walk in it. At any rate, it is a gift I am thankful for.
I am still finding that fasting puts me in a bad mood. Boy, does it break my heart. I cannot believe that food meant that much to me, that I relied that heavily on it for happiness. Still, part of me wants to believe it is simply the state of my heart wanting so much more of Jesus, grieving over my weakness. At any rate, me and Jesus are going to get through this.
I have yet to sit down and write my goals for this time. What I am believing for from this time, not selfishly, but with Godly vision. My grandpa would kid: Look ashamed! I really believe this will be the key to making the most of the time. That and knowing exactly what I am praying for and allowing God to intercede through me whatever is on His heart.
I’ve been feeling -blah- and it really took me by surprise. But God gave me a gift tonight. He allowed me to really feel the fire. To feel alive again, motivated to run after him, motivated to fight the enemy, instead of taking his trash lying down. Knowing that it is inside me, I am thankful that He keeps it and stirs it up in me.
To all those doing the 40, I just want to let you know I have prayed for you and will continue to pray for you. That we all have the grace to fast, and that we enjoy the Lord.
May 30, 2007 at 4:44 pm
“I am still finding that fasting puts me in a bad mood”
oh boy, same here! that is weird isn’t it?? i get all grumpy when fasting..and then i get grumpy because i’m grumpy while i’m fasting..fasting is a weird thing.. but it’s good.. when I get to heaven i’ll ask the Lord about it!
May 30, 2007 at 5:15 pm
When I get overwhelmed by 40 days and wonder how I can give up my beloved food for that long, I remind myself that I will have plenty of chances to eat… well I won’t mention the specifics… for many years. This really isn’t forever when I start thinking of feasting in heaven forever. It will be worth it then!
I’ve already found that my written goals help a lot. Also I’m following along on Randy Bohlender’s reading schedule for the 40 days, that’s really good! You can find his blog at http://rbohlender.blogspot.com/
May 30, 2007 at 5:53 pm
yeah, I’m totally easily cranky when fasting (the pounding headache from the caffine withdraws doesn’t help either!). It’s humbling to know that that crankiness is within us and we simply have masked it with the lesser things. 37 days to go! Sounds like you’re doing great so far!
May 30, 2007 at 7:40 pm
Y’all have no idea how much it helps to know that I am not the only one.
Ruth: I literally embody the ‘getting grumpy because I’m grumpy’. Or being sad that something dumb is making me sad. Or struggling with the fact that I am struggling with something. Isn’t that funny?
Lauren: I hear ya. I did read his assigned reading for the first day and it was encouraging. Come to think of it, I read yesterday’s real late last night. It does keep things in perspective.
Winnie: When we finally see our true selves, we cannot be complacent anymore, you know? Not if we want to be like Jesus. Wow. 37 days to go. When you put it like that, it’s a real shocker! It made me laugh.
May 30, 2007 at 10:09 pm
I just read Randy’s blog. He wrote that he’s grumpy today too. See, it’s a common “side effect” of the fasted, even those on leadership at IHOP! (:
You know what’s helped me be reminded of why I’m doing this, is going to http://www.fastandpray.com. They’ve put up new articles and it’s been an encouraging reminder that there are thousands of other people fasting alongside me.
May 31, 2007 at 3:47 am
[...] today I was reading Robin’s blog where she mentioned being grumpy and I wondered when it would hit me. Well I didn’t have [...]
June 16, 2007 at 6:37 am
I can’t fast…
Longest I’ve gone without food is 2.4 days.That was like 10 years ago…
You women are tuff tuff tuff………lol
Please pray for the spiritual “wimp”. I’m just happy Jesus saved my soul.
Bert Graef
Winnipeg Canada