Fun Quotes

Saturday night, a group of us went out for Jennifer’s birthday. Here are some fun quotes I captured:

…….
Chris: Cows always look mad.
Shanna: Except Elsie.
Chris: Oh. Is that the singing cow at the rodeo?
Shanna: Mm-hmm.
Chris: Yeah. She’s a happy cow.

…….
Jennifer: (after opening a nice birthday gift from Jesse) I like it when he gives me gifts.

…….
Jennifer: (annoyed) Chris always drives on the reflectors, bump, bump, bump..
Chris: Well, I like living on the edge.

…….
Chris: (after hearing a story of a bat-infested house permanently blinding the owner) It’s like the revenge of the bats. We’re blind and you will be too!

…….
(Jessy gave this homeless guy some money on her way to take a nap in the car. Chris went out to make her come back in, seeing her naivety regarding her safety. As they walked by, the homeless guy went to ask Chris for some money.)
Homeless guy: Oh, your wife already gave me some.

…….
Lindsay: (On our way to our cars) Jessy, where’s your homo?
(she meant hobo! We were rolling it was soo funny.)

Being Led in Triumphal Procession

God gave me this on Thursday, and it really helped me so I wanted to share.

2 Cor 2: 12-14
“Now when I went to Troas to preach the gospel of Christ and found that the Lord had opened a door for me, I still had no peace of mind, because I did not find my brother Titus there. So I said good-by to them and went on to Macedonia. But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him.”

My first thought was that even though God had opened a door for Paul, he didn’t take the opportunity, saying he had no peace of mind. This surprised me. Paul? Not follow an open door? Is was okay just because he didn’t feel like he should?

Most times I feel like if I disobey God, or something I think He wants me to do, I am a terrible person, and now He hates me. No matter what the circumstances of my saying ‘uh no God I don’t think so but I still love you and live to obey you.” I cannot even repent, because that means turning from my sin, and I know that there will be a future time when I will do it again, whether my Spirit wills to or not. So now I am going to Hell.

Yet Paul says “But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ”

I took comfort today in this proclamation. Whether I know where I am going or not, and even when I am afraid my life is all wrong and why can’t I get it right, I will cling to this.

He say ‘always’. Not just ‘leads us’ in a ‘procession’ but a ‘triumphal’ procession. And He says ‘In Christ’ which is a reminder that life is not always what it seems. That I am not really living my life, struggling alone, without help. I am spiritually, positionally, ‘In Christ’

The remaining words let me understand that God can use me wherever I am, even if I think I’m in the wrong place (and the wrong time). That’s a promise, you know?

It’s been a while

Sorry it’s been so long. I would not be surprised it I’ve lost all my readers, but that’s okay.

Well, I am so busy these days, it’s crazy. I am doing 15 credit hours online through Southwestern. This is in edition to being involved in church. I have started working in the coffeshop at church, and I’m loving it. I was just given the 3-year-olds in kids’ church for snack and craft, so that is exciting. I am loving being a youth leader, and my singles group is still active, really getting the ball rolling, as far as officiality.

And I have come out of a season of feeling trapped by life, wanting to run away to anywhere I can accomplish something for God. Now I feel fulfilled, I feel like I am accomplishing things, affecting people’s lives, able to love and serve. I am newly passionate for God, which is a gift, a grace, that I am so thankful for. Without Him, I am nothing.

Anyway, hopefully I’ll make this a habit again. God bless all!

A little on Camp and a Haircut

I don’t know what the deal is. I haven’t been able to get on here. I probably just need a break, and when I feel led to get back on, I will.

I will come back with stories of camp. Let me just testify that God made a way for me to eat. I found packages of plums, apples, and nectarines at Target for cheap that really carried me through. I also had ’sandwiches’ with natural peanut butter, polaner all-fruit, and sprouted grain ‘bread’. I got to eat corn at dinner one night. They ran out of green beans another night, and I confess that I was pretty upset about it. I went outside and sobbed my heart out. I stand surprised at my reaction, though, because it wasn’t that important. Really. I just talked to Jesus about it, and I was fine. I volunteered to help serve at some meals, and God gave me amazing favor with the ladies in the kitchen and they hooked me up with extra watermelon slices, tomato slices, and orange quarters. It was very amazing of God. He totally took care of me!!

God taught me a lot at camp, though I don’t know how much I will ever be able to articulate. Especially with my girls. I treasure every memory.

The most amazing thing was the survices. Surprise, surprise. No, I’m saying I found new, incredible intimacy in worship. God was showing me things and revealing things to me and it was amazing. God also used me like I have never been used before to pray for my girls, and specifically to pray for them to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit. And several of them did. So it was incredible.

In other news, I cut my hair yesterday. I’m donating 10+ inches to Locks of Love. I love it!! Look here and here.

Youth Camp!!!

Well, we’re meeting at the church in 4 hours and I haven’t slept yet.

It’s time for Youth Camp!! I love youth camp!! This is my fifth year as a counselor. I love pouring into my girls’ lives and God always does amazing things!! So say a prayer for us when you read this.

I will be back home and back online Friday night, and if I can manage to journal while I am there, and steal away some time when I get home, I will write a little about it.

Repentance Walk

I read about this on TheCall website. It has since then been removed, but you can read about it here. I am struck by the great significance of it. I definitely want to do it.

Also, this is interesting. It’s a call to prayer for purity.

If you haven’t been to the fastandpray website lately, go check it out. I was noticing today that they’ve added vidoes, an audio, and new articles. Very encouraging.

Check it out. Because it’s too easy to forget.

Progress and Thankfulness

Today I was forced to eat V8 with a spork. I didn’t get around to warming it up until the cafe had closed and locked up the plasticware. You gotta love it. By the way, hot n spicy V8 is very good. So spicy, in fact, that I use half, and then half of the plain stuff. I warm it up and eat it like soup and it is good.

We’ve been making fruit coctail, and it is delish. I found some celestial seasonings decaf mint green tea, that is yummy. I’m a sucker for the aroma: mint, spearmint, mmm.

Although I am surprised at and very thankful for the determination inside me, when 40 days starts to seem overwhelming, I slowly count to 40. I don’t know exactly why, but this really helps. Maybe it reminds me that it won’t last forever. Maybe it reminds me that I will get through it. Maybe it allows me to already feel (humbly) victorious, so that I can walk in it. At any rate, it is a gift I am thankful for.

I am still finding that fasting puts me in a bad mood. Boy, does it break my heart. I cannot believe that food meant that much to me, that I relied that heavily on it for happiness. Still, part of me wants to believe it is simply the state of my heart wanting so much more of Jesus, grieving over my weakness. At any rate, me and Jesus are going to get through this.

I have yet to sit down and write my goals for this time. What I am believing for from this time, not selfishly, but with Godly vision. My grandpa would kid: Look ashamed! I really believe this will be the key to making the most of the time. That and knowing exactly what I am praying for and allowing God to intercede through me whatever is on His heart.

I’ve been feeling -blah- and it really took me by surprise. But God gave me a gift tonight. He allowed me to really feel the fire. To feel alive again, motivated to run after him, motivated to fight the enemy, instead of taking his trash lying down. Knowing that it is inside me, I am thankful that He keeps it and stirs it up in me.

To all those doing the 40, I just want to let you know I have prayed for you and will continue to pray for you. That we all have the grace to fast, and that we enjoy the Lord.

My Passion Has an On/Off Button?

Well, this day did not go quite how I hoped it would, but Jesus is still Lord. I did learn something.

I was thinking of my friend Chris. This guy, by simply praying over his food, makes you feel convicted to love Jesus more. I told the Lord, sometimes my heart feels so far away from you. The Lord then allowed me to see this truth: In reality, I love Him so much and I am so passionate for him, that sometimes I turn it off. I disconnect myself from it. It’s a stupid reason and I am asking the Lord to bring me revelation concerning it.

I love Him. I am consumed with living for Him, with being wholeheartedly His every moment of every day, walking in passion to be all He has destined me to be. Yet there are days I hate. When I am faced with the mundane. When I am forced to live what my friend Jennifer calls a secular life. The everyday. Like today, where it was just me and my mom and my grandma. Being at home, going shopping. No friends that share this higher calling. No corporate prayer time. No passionate talk about Jesus. No getting messed up simply because I talked about God. No encouraging someone else or giving account for the fire inside me.

So I struggled. Since I could not embody the passion inside me, I disconnected from it. Not on purpose, mind you. It’s almost like I don’t get my way, so the expression of my life turns from passion to pout. It’s pretty ridiculous, but I’m genuinely upset about this struggle.

All I want is Jesus. All I want is to live in Him 24/7. I cannot even really put my heart into words. I want to always be going 100 mph for Him. So on days when I can’t, I feel like a failure. I honestly feel like God is mad at me, even if it is simply me being mad at myself.  I never want to have a day when I can’t be chasing God with all my might. How can I when He’s coming back? How can I when there is so much more of Him, when I am still so far away from him? How can I when there is so much on His heart that He wants me to do? When the fire burns so violently inside of me? I come to despise the times when I am stuck at home because I loathe being unproductive for Him!

Can anyone relate?

Well, tomorrow is going to be a fabulous day. I have to work, and us singles will probably get together and hang, and that will be amazing. I am thankful because I know God is growing me in grace and in the knowledge of Him. He is good to bring me revelation so I can understand myself and serve Him better. I love Him.

It’s Already Started

And I have a monster testimony

My brother Phillip was always the most awesome man of God I had ever known. He had more passion for Jesus than I had ever seen. He went off to Bible College and shortly backslid. I never understood how really, but he backslid good. He now has a 7-month old daughter, whose mother is an athiest. For so long, it would make me sick to talk to him, to think about him. We tried and tried to get him to come home, to no avail.  To make a long story short, he moved back to Houston before Easter, and he’s been living with my dad and stepmom on the south side of Houston, and periodically visiting my mom, my grandma, and me on the north side of Houston. I believed with every fiber of my being that once he got here, it was over. And I was convinced that the reason it was like pulling teeth to get him here was because the enemy knew it.

The Weekend’s Beginning 

Well, Jessy Jeaux and I drove on Friday night to get him and bring him in for a good friend’s wedding, and to visit us. On the way, he explained to us where he was spiritually. I personally finally understood that something had died inside of him. That he had to start over, to find himself again, to find God again. He had to rise above the constant assault of the enemy bringing guilt and condemnation, and own his faith again. It was very encouraging to us, to know he was coming back around, even if it was slow. For so long, he talked, he acted, he sounded, so lost.

The Weekend’s End

My brother is back! In the past 28 hours, he has prayed aloud, worshipped wholeheartedly, prayed in the Spirit, encouraged another, and said many faith-filled statements. Now, when he talks, Jesus comes out of him. He is back. I see, I hear, the old Phillip. To hear him confess that He is stronger, that He knew all along he couldn’t run, that He has “picked so many things up this weekend that [he] couldn’t seem to pick up before” is glorious.

So Fitting!

What a fitting beginning to my 40-day. What a blessing to begin with such a victory. For this is the very thing I will be praying for. That those who do not know Jesus would come to know Him, that those who have strayed would come back, and that those in the church who are sleeping would be awakened. What an amazing blessing! As if Phillip coming back to Jesus wasn’t enough cause for a celebration in itself. Praise the great, living God!

It’s already started. And here we go!

His Delight

One day last week I was telling the Lord that I wanted to understand His love, His delight. And I wrote this.

So great is Your love, You sing over me. So strong is Your delight in me, You dance where I am concerned. Your heart swells with joy, because I love You. To open arms I run, because I belong to You.